Social Distance Without the Social Awkwardness: Video Calls
“We’re probably all used to keeping connected with friends online… it’s where loads of our conversations happen. I hadn’t realised quite how different this would all feel when you can’t actually see people in between these messages, threads, Facetime chats and stories! I’m pretty good at chatting one to one, but what if you have a group you are part of and want to catch up with everyone together? This has just felt a little weird to me on Zoom or Skype, locked in our little screen boxes. How do you connect with people without it becoming awkward? I’ve noticed how much I’m missing those ‘break out’ spaces for those natural smaller groups or one-to-one conversations to happen. I’ve been realising just how much I rely on body language to tell who is going to speak next. It’s awkward when someone asks a question waiting for someone to answer and there’s just a big silence… and not to mention that no one is allowed to go out and do anything - so none of us have much news anyway!
Some of the Golddigger Team looking awesome on their video call ;)
This lockdown time is just very different and I’m trying to embrace that and allow it to be a bit odd. I think my longest conversation was a comment thread about satsumas yesterday. It was silly, it was surprisingly insightful. It’s actually been quite refreshing (excuse the, sort of sutsuma-ry, pun) to have a conversation about something a bit more abstract. I’ve decided to try to use this period of time to allow my relationships to grow in a different way. Rather than switch off and avoid people (which I tend to do when things are tough) or allow it to be awkward and forced, I want to try to work out how conversations can bring something new, how we can still have the time together that gives us life, that makes us laugh and helps us feel connected. One simple rule I’m noticing works is deciding on a purpose for your time together online. Doing something together, rather than just hanging out and chatting, gives us some of the experience of the 'doing life together' that we are missing by being stuck inside. It's actually those horrendous science lessons, that drama on the way home, that bus journey with a shouty lady etc. that gives us stuff to talk about and laugh about later when we connect together. Here are some of the ideas I plan to try and I challenge you to choose a few too…
Set your webcam/ phone up so that you can all start baking a recipe together. All of you try to make the same cake or conquer a lasagne for your family tea all at the same time.
Plan a quiz and all write a round of questions each.
Start a book together (or join the Golddigger Trust one on facebook) and read a chapter before you meet to discuss it.
Eat a similar meal together, so it gives the feel of chatting over dinner at a restaurant somewhere!
Play a game… a game of Battle Ships or Guess Who should work across screens or bring back Kim’s Game (remember that classic one you have lots of random items on a tray and you have to spot which one goes missing when it gets covered by a tea towel…?? Lets go retro!)
Doing something you don’t normally do as groups of friends is a sure way of creating memories… however odd!”
Love Mandy x
Try this at home!
“Here’s a simple game to play… I did this as part of a quiz night with friends the other night as a fun ‘getting to know each other’ game… Screen share these questions and take turns to nominate someone to answer one of the questions. All write down what you THINK their answer will be and show them to the screen before the person reveals their answer. They get to pick their favourite answer to win points.”
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